Developing A Healthy Love For Yourself

Last week, we examined Mark 12


Mk 12:28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” 29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ We discussed what Love For God  really looks like.

He wants us to love Him 

with everything we’ve got.

Next in importance, Jesus says:


31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

We gloss over these two commandments as:

-Love God 1st

-Love Neighbor 2nd

How are we to love our neighbor?


Next week, we’re going to discuss 

How We Love Our Neighbor

We first have to discuss:

3) How Do We Love Ourselves?

You can’t love your neighbor very well, 

if you don’t have a HEALTHY love for yourself.

Healthy is the KEY word.

It’s important that we love ourselves.

What does that look like?

Many people have never figured this out.

Most go to one extreme 

or the other.

Let’s take a look at them.

On the first extreme, there’s

4) Narcissism- a grandiose sense of self-importance. A lack of empathy towards others, a need for excessive admiration, and the belief that one deserves special treatment.

This is NOT what Jesus is talking about.

This is an unhealthy view of self.

Narcissistic people are:





-only take care of themselves

Selfish people seldom do for others.

In Mk 10, Jesus is confronted by

Rich Young Ruler


Mk 10:17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’” 20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. 23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

This young man was narcissistic.

Jesus looks into his heart

& sees a problem….SELFISHNESS

Jesus tells him:

“Get rid of that cancer (Greed & Selfishness)

& follow me.”

He wasn’t willing to do it.

This isn’t the kind of love for self 

that Jesus wants us to have.


Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

The 2nd Extreme goes in the opposite direction:

6) Low Self Esteem

This isn’t any better than the first.

How can you love others,

If you don’t love yourself?

As Christians, it’s critical that 

we see our value.

Let me share what God 

has to say about you.


John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Can you imagine someone loving you that much?


See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  -1 Jn 3:1

By love, God brought you into his family.

You’re not just anyone.

You’re a child of God.


1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

You are:

-Chosen by God

-Royal Priesthood

-Holy Nation

-God’s Special Possession 

Don’t let anyone or anything 

tell you differently.

Far too often, we allow life’s defeats 

to define us.

God’s not doing that.

We’re doing that to ourselves.

Again, how does God see us?

-Royal Priesthood -Holy Nation

As believers, we’re valued by God.

It doesn’t matter what other people 

say about us.

What they say doesn’t matter.

God has the ultimate say.


Eph 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Not only are we special, 

But God has a special work for all of us.

That’s how He wants us 

to see ourselves.

We’ve got to have that healthy 

self-image to love others well.

Again, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

11) Love your neighbor in the 

    same way you love yourself.

When we do, we fulfill how

Jesus taught us to love.

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